He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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