Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.