Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.