Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.