i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.