Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy. http://tfl.nu/sv1q
  Replies (15) Good night (1048) Bad night (2399)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits" http://tfl.nu/grvc
  Replies (45) Good night (4016) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents. http://tfl.nu/8scw
  Replies (35) Good night (1030) Bad night (3566)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better. http://tfl.nu/j6r0
  Replies (17) Good night (1076) Bad night (4971)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour http://tfl.nu/oz5v
  Replies (10) Good night (1447) Bad night (3336)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth" http://tfl.nu/505h
  Replies (11) Good night (3721) Bad night (2188)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself. http://tfl.nu/yba7
  Replies (3) Good night (2610) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand http://tfl.nu/pktd
  Replies (6) Good night (737) Bad night (2589)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again. http://tfl.nu/hcx3
  Replies (1) Good night (852) Bad night (1757)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon. http://tfl.nu/nu6w
  Replies (18) Good night (1338) Bad night (1752)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning. http://tfl.nu/b9vx
  Replies (26) Good night (1571) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina http://tfl.nu/3vzn
  Replies (2) Good night (1105) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time http://tfl.nu/76fp
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope. http://tfl.nu/g0eb
  Replies (3) Good night (304) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five. http://tfl.nu/8p92
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (135)

Randomize