Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.

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  (303): I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move. http://tfl.nu/t85w
  Replies (17) Good night (2666) Bad night (573)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.

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  (503): I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there. http://tfl.nu/oh3e
  Replies (19) Good night (4339) Bad night (594)
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  (516): View more from New York

  he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.

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  (516): he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time. http://tfl.nu/8o43
  Replies (22) Good night (5306) Bad night (1068)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant

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  (705): dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant http://tfl.nu/i402
  Replies (25) Good night (1189) Bad night (10714)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted

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  (734): I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted http://tfl.nu/844p
  Replies (25) Good night (5317) Bad night (1213)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...

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  (937): pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point... http://tfl.nu/zj6y
  Replies (17) Good night (8547) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.

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  (612): I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday. http://tfl.nu/86uh
  Replies (42) Good night (11531) Bad night (1006)
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  (415): View more from California

  He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.

  (650): View more from California

  .......................................

  (415): View more from California

  My thoughts exactly.

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  (415): He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic. (650): ....................................... (415): My thoughts exactly. http://tfl.nu/05rl
  Replies (6) Good night (940) Bad night (2923)
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  (559): View more from California

  We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.

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  (559): We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child. http://tfl.nu/mund
  Replies (4) Good night (2034) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.

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  (781): Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days. http://tfl.nu/ccfk
  Replies (10) Good night (1834) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.

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  (916): The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight. http://tfl.nu/8kai
  Replies (6) Good night (1051) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.

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  (512): Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery. http://tfl.nu/4491
  Replies (4) Good night (1183) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.

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  (989): I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon. http://tfl.nu/2nq9
  Replies (13) Good night (1340) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet

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  (208): Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet http://tfl.nu/73eb
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped

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  (806): Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped http://tfl.nu/37q2
  Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (173)

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