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• (360): View more from Washington

  Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.

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  19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss

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• (+22): View more from

  Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.

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  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.

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