Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never want to see another naked old woman again.

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  (724): I never want to see another naked old woman again. http://tfl.nu/5axh
  Replies (15) Good night (703) Bad night (3585)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE

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  (845): I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE http://tfl.nu/lkt9
  Replies (37) Good night (672) Bad night (4436)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.

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  (210): I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy. http://tfl.nu/uz12
  Replies (44) Good night (4538) Bad night (2135)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.

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  (812): Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was. http://tfl.nu/nuhx
  Replies (28) Good night (8818) Bad night (909)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking

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  (201): When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/q4p2
  Replies (2) Good night (2159) Bad night (1091)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.

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  (570): Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/7z3e
  Replies (8) Good night (3255) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.

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  (254): You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever. http://tfl.nu/wqqf
  Replies (3) Good night (2325) Bad night (1011)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.

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  (519): I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds. http://tfl.nu/ynhk
  Replies (3) Good night (1737) Bad night (878)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.

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  (316): I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device. http://tfl.nu/lmjt
  Replies (4) Good night (1659) Bad night (583)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.

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  (320): Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/lfii
  Replies (3) Good night (1500) Bad night (452)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song

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  (513): I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song http://tfl.nu/4m2s
  Replies (9) Good night (493) Bad night (658)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck

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  (817): This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck http://tfl.nu/mv3p
  Replies (3) Good night (670) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!

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  (908): you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?! http://tfl.nu/kjl1
  Replies (2) Good night (929) Bad night (348)
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  (530): View more from California

  I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.

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  (530): I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him. http://tfl.nu/eemp
  Replies (0) Good night (300) Bad night (410)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.

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  (843): If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick. http://tfl.nu/pvhu
  Replies (4) Good night (632) Bad night (176)

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