May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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