Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
