she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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