whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
