I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
