I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
