i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
