my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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