i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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