at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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