Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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