I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
