shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
