i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
