he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have already put on my inside pants.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
