There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
