Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
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they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
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Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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