not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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