from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
