This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
