Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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