Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize