you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.