all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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