Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
