Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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