Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My breasts were aching with rage.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
