I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You pole danced in your parka.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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