so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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