Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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