i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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