She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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