Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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