"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
