I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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