I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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