im gay
i know
yea but for you.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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