Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize