Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
