2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
