and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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