dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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