You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I'm really busy with my period
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