a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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