her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
