This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
