her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
