It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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