My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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