Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
