we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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