It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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