Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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