if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
