so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
