i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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